Did you know I spent my early teens playing flash games? I’d frequent Newgrounds, spam the forums with worthless opinions (racking up a post count north of 20k), and then use the flash films/games as being the icing on the teenage-annoyance cake. Then when the editor pushed #1 Diep.io – #1 Play Diep.io Game Online if you ask me, I found myself suspicious.
In the beginning, I assumed to question: “How do you realize I used to play flash games on Newgrounds?”, but thought he’d suspect something. Not simply, if I was wrong, would he start carefully and systematically comparing Newgrounds general posts with my general awkward demeanor to monitor down younger me but, generally if i was right, he would know I found myself to the bastard. Then your editor would foil my well being plans by occasionally whispering within my ear: “hey, consider this gem of the Newgrounds general post…”, thus bit-by-bit destroying what little self-esteem I have got left.
Like other narratives, I found myself asked who’s tale it was. So, one a little water on the face later, I realized it wasn’t a philosophical question of free-will but instead just asking me my name. Although, noticing this was an internet based multiplayer title, I was thinking I’d hide how I’d be examining this video game by using a critical eye as an element of my job. So off I went. The tale of “NotAJournalist” had begun.
Naturally, like other free-to-play PvP titles, Diep.io starts off with a whisper. You happen to be runt, the foot of a pile, in the bad world looking to shoot you at the back of the head. Or possibly a small, circular tank floating amongst other shapes and other tanks. So I did the obvious thing: I blew with the squares, triangles and pentagons that hung out passively while dodging every one of the circle with names upon them. Yes, the aesthetic could possibly be recreated with MS Paint and the only thing that may be missing is Comic Sans.
Each level offered me choosing upgrade: Regen, health, bullet damage, bullet speed, rate of fire, bullet penetration, body damage (collision damage), and movement speed. An issue that became immediately obvious was that in case I planned to have beyond a youngster inside a paddling pool of concentrated hydrochloric acid, i will have to pick regen at some time. Without this, I would personally be worn down over time like said child from before.
Eventually, I leveled past the “spitball-n-straw” stage and was asked if I wanted a device-gun, a sniper rifle, a dual-barrel assault rifle, or to be able to shoot forwards and backwards while spinning madly similar to a ballistic hedgehog. Since I’m the particular simpleton to perform as Soldier 57 on Overwatch, out of the fear of confusion otherwise, I went with the assault rifle option on my tank.
Eventually, similar to most things, my time with Diep.io stumbled on an end once i began picking fights with many other players. Even with the highest damage output I was able to muster, one of the most speed, a large regen pool, and a lot more health than I knew how to handle, other players were quickly in a position to put me inside my place. I’d be chipping away at their cathedral of health with my toothbrush shiv and they’d just sweep me aside having an almighty paw without noticing I ever existed.